The Wall Came Tumbling

Twenty years ago today.....November 9, 1989 to be exact was an important day not only in world history, but for my family as well. The Berlin Wall came down, and it was a celebration like no other! I still have deep feelings about the communism of the Eastern Block countries and how it affected my relatives. Some may think communism is good, but I beg to differ.

My father is 100% Hungarian, which makes me 50%. My grandmother grew up in Budapest, but I also have family in Transylvania, Romania and other parts of that country. I had relatives that escaped from Hungary during the 1956 revolution, and came to the USA. In 1989, my 2nd cousin came to stay with us for a couple of weeks. She had never been out of Romania. The stories she told of us of the oppression in her country were horrific. I couldn't relate, because I have freedom.

A few days before she was set to leave, she told my grandmother that she wanted to defect, and would she help her. My grandmother reminded her of everything she would be giving up. She had 2 small children and a husband back in Romania, and she'd never see them again. Was that worth it? Reluctantly, my cousin went back home. Two weeks later, I was overjoyed when the symbol of eastern communism fell to the ground. It was the beginning of freedom for many people's lives. It spread like wildfire across eastern Europe. A day that will never be forgotten.

Halloween tomfoolery!

Happy Halloween!!

A few awesome memories......

!. When I was a kid, we didn't go into all the other neighborhoods to trick or treat. Our parents didn't take us either (It was a different world then). We had to stay in our neighborhood, so that was very limiting in the amount of candy we could get. BOO!
So, me and my friends devised a plan where we would hit the hood twice. We would go out early in the evening, then a few hours later, we would change into costume number 2, and hit it again. SCORE! In hindsight, I wonder if the adults knew we were doing this.

2. After a fun filled night of trick or treating, laying all the candy out on the table, and sorting it into categories for trading. Good stuff, bad stuff, possibly tampered with stuff, and stuff you wouldn't feed to the dog! Me and my brother would then pow-wow, like we were at the local bizarre...wheeling and dealing for the candy we liked.

3. This day is one of my favorite days, because it allows you to be someone else for the day.....and without being judged. Except by ME! One of my favorite things to do was to pass out the candy to the trick or treaters. I would always buy 2 kinds of candy. The first would be the good stuff = chocolate!! The second would be the bad stuff = Smarties, Brach's candy or something else that sucked.

When the kids would come to the door, I would decide what candy they were worthy of. I never told them this, it was just a little game I played by myself. It made things fun. Of course, all the little kids got the good candy. But, if a teenager came, and it looked like he just threw on his football uniform......he got the sucky candy! No effort = sucky candy! Simple. I had a blast! I especially loved the kids reactions when they got something they really liked.

4. One of the best costumes I EVER saw was at a party I went to. This couple came as a "plug" and an "outlet". He was the "plug" and she was the "outlet / receptacle". They were made out of cardboard boxes, and covered in tin foil. I asked them if they "fit", and sure enough, the guy scoots to the girl, and ......you know the rest!!

Good times!!

Hangin' em up!

Today was an emotional day. As I was cleaning out my office, I found my soccer bag. I still have all my gear, all with the hopes of returning to play in the glorious game of football ("soccer" for all us yanks). I miss the game terribly. I loved it more than my track & field days of high school and college. More than my cross country running, and playing volleyball. I had a great time....and today I realized that my chances of playing again are slim to nil.

I discovered soccer when my older daughter began playing when she was 5 years old. I always liked running, and watching those kids run around on a field peaked my interest. Just as luck would have it, another mother on the team told me that she plays in a women's only adult soccer league, and wondered if I would be interested in trying it. There was a new league in the city, and there was a recreational division and competitive division. She told me not to worry. A lot of the women were new and weren't all that good. It sounded perfect for me!

Next thing you know, I'm out buying all my gear, and watching every soccer game I could catch on tv. Telemundo had all the great games. It didn't matter that I couldn't understand the announcers, I learned the game by watching. My first team definitely had it's ups and downs. We played one game against a team from the competitive division. They had a girl on their team who was the college, division 2 player of the year a few years prior. We were so bad, or they were so good depending on how you look at it, that their goalie was playing the whole game at midfield. At one point she even went to the sideline during the game and had a mini water break!

But as time went on, we got better. My teammates always called me "Cote" (pronounced Cody), because there was another woman named "Jenny". There was one time that my teammate was surprised when I told her my first name WASN'T Cote. I said, "Who would name their daughter Cote?" Too funny.

So many crazy stories come to mind when I think of my playing days. One in particular stands out. The other team I was playing against had the current mayor of Chino Hills. She had a reputation for faking a dive in order to draw a penalty. Well, the whole game we had been playing very aggressively. On one play, we were shoulder to shoulder, fighting for possession. She decided to hit the dirt. When she did, she looked up and said, "You B*TCH!" Luckily, this potty mouth mayor didn't know that standing right behind her was the referee. Out came the red card! Bye, bye Ms. Mayor. Guess you gotta sit out the rest of the game....AND the next one too. More shocking was the fact that a lot of her teammates were embarrassed by her behavior and came up to me and apologized. WOW!!!

Surprisingly, it took me almost 3 years to get my first goal. Oh, what a feeling that was! That's right up there with having my children, meeting Bono, and working on the Academy Awards. What was interesting was how I would go through dry spells, going "goal-less", and other times where I was en fuego!

At one point during my soccer days, I was playing up to 4 games a week. Sundays were double headers. I barely ate on Sunday, cuz if I did, I would up-chuck. It was hard to run with food in my tummy. All I could think about was soccer. I couldn't get enough. I was a complete student of the game. When my younger daughter was old enough, I began to coach her teams. It brought so much joy into my life. I even went to Manchester, England back in 2003 JUST to see David Beckham, in his glory. There is nothing like seeing english football being played by the best in the world!

Maybe it's not really time to hang them up. Maybe I can just "tuck" them away. My Addidas boots, socks, shin guards and soccer ball can't be thrown out. Maybe a miracle will happen, and I'll get one more taste of glory!

A New Book

I picked up a new book today called, "Why Men Marry Bitches." This was highly recommended by a friend. I'm almost done with chapter one. Hopefully this will clarify some things for me. One thing I still don't understand are all the games men and women play with each other. Has there always been games between men and women? Why can't 2 people like each other without playing games. Shouldn't love be easy? There's so many books on this topic, and it makes me awfully confused.

It's a God Thing!

Just coming off almost a month of working on the Miss Universe Pageant in the Bahamas, made me contemplate what truly constitutes beauty. Being around 83 of the most beautiful young women didn't really give me an identity crisis, but it made me more aware of things. For one.....I have a few extra years on them, which brings life experience, and knowing what I want in a relationship. For me, the attraction in a man encompasses many things.....laughter, strength, intelligence, and how he treats a woman.

I have decided to never settle again for a man / relationship that doesn't meet my needs. I think that because of this, the pickings have been very slim. The men that I am usually interested in are either already in a relationship, or they don't want to invest themselves in a new relationship because they are happy where they are in their lives. Ex wife, a good career, semi-grown kids, hangin' with the buddies, toys in the garage or at the lake. Why upset THAT apple cart?

Today I had a lengthy conversation with my friend who was telling me how beautiful I am. I haven't had those "feelings" toward myself for a long time. A few failed relationships, and unrequited feelings for someone made me feel like there's something wrong with me, that I'm not deserving of love. I have never given up hope for a beautiful man / relationship to enhance my life. I have prayed relentlessly about this. I've asked God to heal my wounds, and to make me whole again. I prayed about it today, after my conversation with my friend. I prayed so hard, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I decided that I needed a change of scenery. I showered, put my music on full blast, and started to curl my hair. I put some make up on, and a cute summery top with shorts. I FELT ...cute! I looked in the mirror, smiled, and told myself how beautiful I am. Deep down......I really liked ME!

I headed over to Target to pick up a few things. As I walked in the door, this very handsome man crossed in front of me and looked right into my eyes. He said, "Hello, how are you?"
I smiled and said, "Hello......fine thanks."
I took a few more steps with my cart when he came back over to me and said, "Excuse me.....but you are really beautiful."
I was surprised, but again smiled and said, "Thank you."
He said, "I really mean that as a compliment.....WOW."
Once again, smiling I said, "Thank you....."

I made my way down the nearest empty aisle. I stopped, looked up to the ceiling and said, "Thank you God. You spoke to me loud and clear." I had the best feeling like I've never known. HE grabbed my attention, and HE knew that I needed that from HIM. I have since decided, that I am going to work on loving that beauty inside of me. I'm going to work on the physical side also, but truly loving who I am will bring me closer to having the RIGHT man in my life.

Alison

Today is Alison’s birthday. It took 17 hours of labor to bring her into this world. Being that it was Mother’s Day that year (and my due date), I partied like a rock star. Unbeknownst to me, I had NO IDEA I was in labor, until the contractions came closer, and with a vengeance. Suddenly this didn’t feel like indigestion from all the pizza I ate that day!

Let me tell you about Alison. As music was a bond between my dad and me, I knew it was going to be very special between us also. It had to! Because it all started with her name!

Anyone who knows me knows the importance of the group U2. One day, I was reading a book about them and came across Bono’s wife’s name. I had already picked a boys name, but was stuck on finding the right girls name. Her name was Alison, or Ali for short. What a perfect name! And I was going to spell it with the one “L” just like her, and to make it a little different! Besides, this would always be a great story to tell about how she was named.



Now, I always have music playing in my home or car! Ali had come to love music almost as much as me. She picked up language at a very early age, so singing followed quickly. I would be driving, Ali in her booster seat next to me singing along to “Mysterious Ways” (by U2 of course). But she would pronounce it “Way-eeeeez”. Another time, she asked me to put on Radio Disney. That’s where I had to draw the line!

“Mommy” says Ali. “Can you turn it to Radio Disney?”
I say, “I’m sorry Ali. Mommy’s radio doesn’t get that station. It only works in daddy’s car.”

I know, I know! It’s a little kooky, but I had to maintain some sanity on those long car rides!

I remember one hot summer night; Ali was about 4 years old. We had all the windows open in the house, and we were dancing and singing like fools! One song that was her favorite “Love Shack” by the B-52’s was playing. She would light up like a Christmas tree when that came on. She starts bopping around the living room, only singing the lyrics “love SHACK, baby love SHACK” and “bang, bang, bang on the door BABY”!! She’d emphasize the “shack” and “baby”. Too funny!

Fast forward to her first “real” concert at the age of 15. I took her to see Green Day. We totally rocked the place! The energy of the crowd AND the band was amazing! We had the best time ever! It was definitely a mother / daughter bonding moment!

Ali is special is so many other ways as well. She is smart, responsible, caring, and just like her sister… a typical stubborn Taurus! Hopefully the musical bond that we share will be there forever.



Happy Birthday Alison Nicole! I’m so glad you’re mine!!

Madeline

Yesterday, May 6th was Maddie's birthday. I believe that a mother never forgets giving birth to her child. I remember it like it was yesterday. She weighed 8 pounds, 15 ounces and I felt every single bit of her! I should have known then that she was going to be a "tough cookie". And because of her birthday, I went through the Rolodex of my mind, thinking about all the special times . There's one that I enjoy sharing, because it makes me belly laugh!


When Maddie was 4 years old, she went to a Christian pre-school, while I worked full time. One day, her teacher told me the funniest thing. When Maddie prays before having lunch, she ends it with "Hay-man" instead of "Amen". I thought that couldn't be right. Maybe her teacher misunderstood what she said.



So on the way home from work that night, I asked Maddie,

"When you say your blessing before you have lunch, what do you say at the end?"

Maddie says, "Hay man".

I say, "Are you SURE that's what it is?"

Now agitated, Maddie says, "Yes mommy, it's HAY MAN".

I giggled all the way home, and I think that was the day I realized how funny Maddie was. She has such a beauty about her, a sensitivity to people, animals, and nature that amazes me. A typical Taurus stubborn streak, and a tough exterior with all "mush" inside.



Happy Birthday Madeline Noel. I'm so glad you're mine!